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Posted by John Andrews at Gut Pile Style!

Buzzards, Possums and Pick Up Trucks

A true story about some buzzards, a dead 'possum, and a young fella in an old pickup truck.

Several years ago, at work, I was driving on patrol and decided to check on one of our guys that was manning an entrance/exit gate. On the way to the gate on the hilly paved road, I encountered some buzzards feasting on a dead 'possum. I slowed way down because I didn't want to hit the birds on the road, giving them plenty of time to fly and clear the road.

At the gate, I was visiting the other guard when an old pickup arrived with the passenger sicker than a poisoned dog. The driver had a terrible mess, a huge wide swath of rotten 'possum guts and other sickening stuff the entire length of his truck, including the windshield. It was horrible and the weather was very hot. The swath was about 4 feet wide.

I was standing upwind alongside of the terrible mess and asked the driver what happened. The poor fella said he topped the hill and there were buzzards all over the road and he nearly hit some of them. One or more of the spooked birds regurgitated as they lifted off the ground, trying to lighten the load and gain altitude. The contents hit the front of the truck and traveled the entire length of the truck. You could see where he turned on his windshield wipers to gain some visibility, but didn't have any windshield washer fluid in the washer tank. He had just enough view to drive, the wipers smearing the terrible stuff.

I looked at my fellow officer that was the unfortunate downwind from the mess. Poor ol' Remo was kinda pale and green, too. We were going to eat our lunches at the guard shack, but kinda lost our appetites. The driver asked me if I could smell it. I said, "H*ell no, I'm upwind! Get this stinking mess out of here!" The poor sick green kid said he wondered if he could even make it to a car wash. Off he went, headed to a car wash miles away.

John Andrews

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